taking me by surprise. I used to think about it every day. I used to
think about you every day and what we had and what we could have had
and what we would have ended up with. I used to dream of you. I used
to be haunted by the words you spoke.
I see you sometimes, in the morning when you leave your house and
sometimes when you come home too. I see you with the pretty girls and
I wonder if you told them the same lies you told me and I wonder if
they believe you and I kind of hope they do.
When you call me I pretend not to notice, when you stop by I pretend
not to be home. When I see you at the grocery store I lie and say I'll
see you later, but I never do and you keep asking.
I want to give in, I'm afraid I might give in and I know I shouldn't,
that I can't.
The strange part, the really hard part, is that I still want to
believe you and that I would forgive you a thousand times more. And
maybe that's why you keep asking, keep insisting because I'm the only
one left who will listen and pretend to believe and still want to
believe after all this time.
I don't remember the pain, I remember the laughter and that's the problem.
3 comments:
That's quite a letter!
On an unrelated note, I dig your new header or title bar or whatever it's called, the thing up top with your photo. It's cool, and it looks like you're wearing a shirt made of shaving cream or something.
oh... don't give in! I did once, and it comes back quickly... the negatives, the pain, the lies. You remember quick. But once you're back in it can be so hard to get out. Because the lies aren't so much believable as addictable. The wanting outweighs the knowing. You almost feel like you should just settle for them...
You deserve so much more!!
I'm with Amy M.
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