Notes to Self.

Thank the Swedish Gods for Sven the Volvo, for in the past twenty
fours hours he has saved countless pedestrians, innocent trees, and
many light posts from my destructive maneuvers and habit of traveling
at dangerous speeds in such threatening weather.

Bless the hearts of boys who cook you dinner and then breakfast
(several hours later) and also do not mind when you wake them up at
4am because you happen to have things on your mind other than sleep,
like post impressionist period paintings and lyrical poetry (just
kidding).

Count your lucky stars that no one saw you when you fell into the most
giant of snow banks ever. Good thing it was dark and 6:30AM.

Congratulate yourself for dropping two classes and becoming a slacker
for the semester. Not because you are overwhelmed but because you wish
to schedule in adequate time for drinking large amounts of liquor and
also recovery time.

Thank goodness that your application for a gun license was denied
because if it hadn't been, you might have shot your professor who kept
insisting that social sciences were much more complicated and
challenging than natural science. Sir, you are standing before a
classroom of political science majors who are there not because they
are deeply passionate about discovering the secret to world peace, but
because they flunked out of chemistry their freshman year.