So Confused.

I am so confused. All I am able to think is that I'm not the person to objectively evaluate this situation. No matter how much time I spend I sifting through my feelings I don't know if they come from the familiarity of the past or if they are new and legitimate. This is why one should never continue friendships after breaking up. Things are awkward, even by my standards. It's so damn messy but what worries me is that I expect to be uncomfortable in his company and I'm really not.

I realize how sketchy and vague all this sounds. I'm certain no one even has a clue what I'm talking about, but it makes me feel infinitely better just to somehow manifest the insides of my head into something slightly more tangible.

B=Boy, Me=Me

B: "How about dinner?"
Voice 1: "Hmm, sounds like a date. I vaguely remember the mention of a girlfriend"
Voice 2: "Vaguely, shut up, you know her first and last name."
Voice 1: "Maybe they're over"
Voice 2: "Or maybe they're not"
Voice 1: "Then it's not a date, it's an outing!"
Me: "Yeah sounds great!"

B: puts hand on knee while some crappy made for TV movie is invading the airwaves
Voice 1: "Interesting."
Voice 2: "Why did I come back here after dinner"
Voice 1: "Let's not think about it"
Voice 2: "Maybe I should move his hand"
Voice 1: "That might be rude"
Voice 2: "What about the girlfriend?"
Voice 1: "So long as I don't ask questions I am not liable"
Me: Does nothing and continues to watch crappy television movie.