Frantic Frustration

I can't stop thinking about last night. It is driving me insane, I can't sit still. I've also consumed five sugar free Red Bull's today. Is that safe? Is it even legal? Should I avoid operating heavy machinery? Probably. I guess I just need someone to talk to. Someone objective and truthful. I don't know if I am just content with what is comfortable. I don't know if I should settle. I'm not on the verge of becomming an old maid but I still feel desperate. It's just nice to have someone to hold your hand and laugh at your really bad attempts at comedy. Maybe he just knows what I like to hear. That must be it, we know each other too well. That's dangerous. I don't like it when people know me well enough to the point that they find me predictable. That's counter-intuitive.

I forgot that other people could make me feel emotional. I don't appreciate being emotional. It makes me feel entirely too weak. And when I get into this mood all I want to do is listen to sappy music like Coldplay, Lifehouse, and Switchfoot. And plan a wedding. That's so scary. Why? This makes writing a paper infinitley more complicated and so I have to take breaks from writing by writing and that seems kind of strange to me. Damn. Feeling like this is so foriegn to me. I don't know what it is and it scares me. Help? I'm not going to spell check this because then I'd have a chance to realize that I am being much too revealing. There goes my facade of steel hearted and anti-emotional.