This is why you should erase phone numbers from your address book

Whoever decided to quote himself as saying "Time heals all wounds" must be a primate or some other lower mammal. Time just allows you to stuff those bits and pieces of hatred, disgust, and annoyance in the back closet of your brain until you are overwhelmingly reconfronted with those feelings in a violent attack of revelations. The first couple of "dates" were pleasant and fun. But then as the weeks unfolded little habits and quirks inevitably emerged, forcing me to recognize that people really don't change. All those things that drove me insane a year ago persisted.

And since I am for some reason convinced that I will be a widow forever if not married with children by twenty-five I ignored as much as I could, not wanting to forgo any semi-legitimate opportunity. Between the art galleries, pretentious dinners, and walks in the park it was sometimes easy to forget who I was there with and just kind of feel like the spoiled rotten brat I am. My perfectly coiffed hair and his Prada shoes were in harmony, at least until he spoke or moved.

I think I was convinced that a second chance was warranted until I realized a bracelet around his wrist bearing the initials of previously referred to girlfriend. After letting myself become thoroughly bothered by this I inquired as to why he was still wearing it. He mumbled some stupid response. A few minutes later I mustered something, maybe courage, and asked him "Why the hell am I here then". After taking a few minutes to realize what I was talking about, he cooly and casually replied "Because I like beautiful things". I didn't say anything but I'm sure you could see the rage seep out of my pores, threatening an attack of some sort. So now I felt as if I belonged on his dressing table next to the Rolexes and Cartier jewelry. Isn't that special?

In an effort to be honest and forthright about my feelings, things I am often not, I attempted to explain how it is not very flattering to be objectified and appreciated merely for one's outer features, but saying all that just made me more depressed. And as if the day couldn't really get much worse, he proceeded to attempt to remove my clothing, because honestly yes, that's exactly what I wanted to do right then. I obviously did not comply and then I was encouraged to leave as expediently as possible. Whatever.

In other exciting news, a guy I dated is a real life con artist. What luck!