Nonsense.

Everyone keeps saying that they're proud. That they wish they could be brave. They've got it all wrong. I shrank away, quietly, because it's so easy to do. It's no matter that the pieces fell perfectly together in an exercise of twisted fate or that I would have been stupid to decline an offer of a lifetime. Putting the distance between us, no matter how small, created a barrier with finality that I couldn't resurrect while sharing a zip code. It wasn't so much running away then as it was acting out what I should have been saying all along.

It has taken time and removal to realize how unhappy the lulling murmurs of mutual hatred made me. It took me until now to learn that no matter how much I willed myself or him to change, or how much self sacrifice I yielded, that he and I would never exist in equilibrium. If anything, playing discontented housewife helped me to realize what I didn't want. Him.