I drove into the sunrise so fast to get away from you because you play
with my emotions and you don't even know it. Before I know it you'll
be on the other side of the world in a strange country. I'd have to
dig holes in my backyard just to get there. But I don't know what you
want and I don't know what you feel and I have this horrible scenario
all played out in my head where you just sort of disappear and I think
that would be bad but you don't even know.
You put a CD in my purse when I wasn't looking and when I found it you
said, you'll like it and I did and I do and I will and now I pretend
that you mean what those songs say. And if you do, I don't even know.
The truth is, I'm jealous of your bravery. I'm jealous that you can
just drop everything and leave. Are you running away?
I'm so afraid of not knowing what is right in front of me. I don't
trust the world and I don't trust myself enough to let go of what I
have. Maybe that's okay for me but I know it isn't for you.
My heart breaks so slowly and so silently and I can't help but think
maybe it's better that way. You'd never feel for me what I feel for
you and it's so weird being on the other side of that equation and
that makes me like you even more. Sick sick world.
And then there is the other boy falling so hard, so fast, and so blindly.
I want to tell you to slow down, but even that would crush you and
that's what makes it so hard. I have no problem with being honest
about my emotions, it's just that everyone has a problem hearing about
them. Even falling-in-like becomes a complicated process. I want to
tell you that it can't be this easy. I want to say that excessive
compliments, expensive gifts, and emotional outbursts aren't the way
this works. I wish I could tell you that those kinds of things bore me
to near death. They remind me too much of most every relationship I
have ever had. Don't worship the ground I walk on, it's pathetic and
very unbecoming. I want to earn affection, not expect it, otherwise it
means nothing to me. Nothing.
5 comments:
Slow down a little bit. Telling a girl she looks pretty is a good thing. A very good thing. But too much is too much. Unless these comments and superficial niceties are warranted, they come off as pathetic. Every grade 8 boy learns this upon writing a girl an unnecessarily flattering poem.
True love manifests itself in little, subtle ways.
Well, imagine pathetic multiplied by one-thousand and you may be able to contemplate this boy and his desperation. It is driving me insane!!!
What CD did he put in?
This sort of thing is very important.
The Waifs, they're an Austrailian band.
You must be joking. I was listening to "Up All Night" yesterday in the car. It's a great cd. At least he has good taste. Favorite song: Since I've Been Around
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