The best day of my life

Last evening I took my right hand on a magnificent journey. Here's the story. As five pm approached my fingers nervously danced across the keyboard, hoping that with each key stroke the moment that my right hand would fulfill its destiny would arrive slightly faster. I tried my best not to watch the second hand on the clock as I knew no matter what it said, the time from which my fingers ceased working to the time that they inserted the key into the ignition of my car would be an eternity. Still, I did my best to waste as much time as possible. I subdued my excitement as much as I could, though I'm sure my coworkers assumed that I was either going through the motions of a nervous breakdown or about to pee my pants, probably both. I was out the door at 4:59, speed walking through the twists and turns of the skyway, my right hand in rhythm stride for stride. I'm sure I looked like one of those middle aged speed walking lady's, sans hot pink jump suit and multiple sweatbands. I didn't care, my right hand had a place to be and I was going to do my best to get it there.

My phone began to ring, and as I fumbled through my purse to find it my mind began entertaining thoughts of the worst. Oh my god, they cancelled it and holy beejesus he must have been killed, among other improbable thoughts ran through my little head. But alas, it was just my mom confirming our point of rendezvous. I did a once over in the reflection of my car making sure my right hand and the body attatched to it looked presentable enough for their most important day, EVER. I raced down that parking ramp like I was Jeff Gordon, my poor tiles squealing as I took corners too tight for my family sedan to handle. I still didn't care, I needed to get my right hand a good place in line.

Then I realized that walking would have been a hell of a lot easier and cheaper. So instead it took me twenty more minutes to creep through five blocks of traffic. It was still all good though. I located the nearest parking facility and fifteen dollars later I bolted my arse across the street to the Xcel Energy Center. It was a battle. I carefully stowed my right hand away in my pocket to protect it from the protesters sporting signs like "Bush IS a Terrorist" and "John Kerry is my Savior". I was tempted to waste time by slapping them all but then I figured I didn't really need anymore assault and battery charges.

In a panic I attempted to locate my family members and after fifteen minutes of that my patience expired and I said screw it, sneaking my way into the lower level seating. Though I was without proper ticket and clearance I managed to secure a spot in the standing room only area with the rest of the rowdy Republicans. As my eyes scanned the Xcel Energy Center I was pleased to see the multitude of people in attendance. It was truly energizing and it was obvious that my right hand saw its goal fast approaching.

I found the approximate 45 minutes of President Bush's speech to hit the spot. My right hand was definitely pleased, finding it self coming together with the left on several occasions. Most markedly was Bush's confident defense of his policy towards terrorism. It was reaffirming to see Mayor Kelly (DFL) openly and actively joining the President in campaigning despite protest from angry constituents. Arriving stylishly late I missed the pre-rally meet and greet sorta thing but that didn't get my right hand down, I was determined to help it fulfill it's self righteous destiny in any way I could.

I used the 45 minutes of speech to inch my way closer to the platform. I nervously taped my foot on the ground in sheer anticipation. President George W. Bush concluded his speech to a roaring crowd of 15,000 dedicated supporters and then...THEN President Bush reached down into the crowd to meet the expectant right hands of his people. One of these right hands happened to be mine. I made sure to firmly grip the President's hand and I looked into his eyes and said "Thank you".

I was planning on not washing my hand as a symbol of loyalty but that kinda went out the window this morning when I washed my hair in the shower. I think it will be okay though, my right hand has its memory and I preserved it with some pictures that will be added later.