Dear University Transit Users

This letter is addressed to those who have the physical capability of walking two blocks, thus excluding those suffering of old age, injury, or any other decapacitating physical ailment. You are the reason why every morning I must travel forty minutes on a bus just to get to the other campus of the SAME University. As you may or may not have realized, the University has "strategically" placed stops approximately every two blocks. I can understand this, as the majority of the time the University operates in the middle of an unbearable winter of ice, wind, snow, and sleet. These elements can make the thought of walking two blocks unbearable. However, as you may have noticed the weather has approached more tolerable temperatures and conditions. So, while the gentle breeze is blowing and the sun is shining on all the people walking outside, you are being a loser and occupying space and time on a bus that is called the "CAMPUS CONNECTOR", emphasis on the connection aspect of its function, meaning it really isn't appropriate to use it merely because you can't walk two blocks. But alas, I watch you hastily step on the bus and than moments later requesting a stop that again, is only two blocks away. Sometimes I have the urge to trip you or otherwise put you in harms way.

But being the kind person I am, I will instead remind you that your laziness can be supplemented by the "CAMPUS CIRCULATOR", which, as its name suggests, goes around each of the three campuses and stops every two blocks. Get off my bus, I live in St. Paul and have class in Minneapolis. You live in Minneapolis and have class in Minneapolis. I reside in a different zip code, please don't contribute to my already obnoxious commutes. Besides, by the looks of things you all could use to exercise and fresh air. So next time you feel the urge to hop on the bus instead of taking a lovely walk across the glorious bridge, remember that buy pulling that cord and requesting that next stop you may be wishing serious injury or death upon yourself. I assure you I am not the only disgruntled individual, I see how the others look at you. Take this as your warning.

That is all...oh, and remember to look both ways before you jay-walk.