The unknown.

What is this thing that I am doing? Some sort of exclusive friends with benefits kind of situation? I avoid labels, I avoid expectations but life has a funny way of placing them in front of you anyway. He furrows his brows at the mention of other men in my life, sometimes saying that he doesn't like the thought, other times saying nothing but not really having to, body language tells a thousand tales.

Am I happy? Of course. I'm nearly always content because I've managed to construct an illusion of control, not permitting others to contribute or detract from my bank of happiness.

We spent three nights in a row together. If I had rules about that type of thing, they would have all definitely been broken. The thing is, this is easy. We've known each other long enough that there doesn't seem to be any expectation. He calls when he says he will, I show up when I say I'm going to.

There's no romance, no wooing, no one is trying to prove anything. Matter of factly, I tell him my deepest, darkest secrets. I give him an exclusive ticket to the flawed inner workings of my brain. He judges me. I don't really care. There is no compulsion to act in a way that I think I should be acting. I am completely me.

Will this last forever? I don't know, I try to think about today, not tomorrow.