So, my most recent online dating encounter came only moments ago and it is much to good not to share. I was just going to post the entire email but the compassionate part of me somehow won over. His username contains the words millions and dollars. He opens with a quote about true wealth and then proceeds to list the five things he would never exchange for money. In this list, we find his children, his ex-wives, his integrity and his loyalty. Number five is sex, but then he says he is just kidding about that part. After the list comes his proclamation of being the proud user of an American Express Black card, which my cousin would say is so very 2007. Frugality is the new black, duh. He then tells me that while he is not ready to be in a romantic relationship, he would be delighted to become my friend. Then he links to pictures that do not exist and says he cannot post them on the dating website because he is socially prominent.
The psychologist in me, well the one who only went to psychology 1001 because the professor was sexy, urges me to find out more about this curious man. His profile talks a lot more about money, how he likes to take girls shopping and how much he enjoys the Ritz Carlton. The crowning glory was his very sad story about how his most recent relationship ended. His beautiful 25 year old girlfriend betrayed his trust leaving him lonely and presumably with a large credit card statement. At this point I feel kind of bad for the guy and can't tell if he is trying to trick me into feeling some sort of sympathy. I mean, I know that genuinely wealthy people don't so much talk about being wealthy unless their names are Donald Trump and Paris Hilton. Do I tell him that I only date billionaires who pay for everything in cash? Do I email him back?
4 comments:
i say just email this post. in its entirety.
suddenly i want to be a psych professor.
How can I argue with the words on Tony Pierce... Except doing that might blow you xbi cover.
If he has your curiosity some harmless correspondence can't hurt.
"not ready to be in a romantic relationship, he would be delighted to become my friend"
Mixing in a little old school.
Old junior high school.
Sadly, I was never able to make any professor fall in love me with. It ruined the fantasy of my ideal college experience.
I emailed this curious man back, no response as of yet. If anything, it will be interesting.
Yes, junior high school except this man is the same age as my dad. So maybe he is just old school or a serial killer? If he's the latter, at least my internet friends will know who killed me.
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