I hope that you are finding what you are looking for wherever it is
you are in the world. I hope that you know how I feel about you even
though I never said it. And I think you do. I think you always have. I
want you to know that I will stop checking my email thirty one and
half thousand times per day, secretly wishing that you'd sent a hello,
I am alive message. It isn't that I don't care, I just can't care
anymore. I am going to stop sleeping on the right side of the bed
because I think that you might crawl into the left side of it while I
am dreaming. I will no longer search for your face on the crowded
sidewalks. I won't drink out of the coffee mug emblazoned with your
former employers logo.
I'm glad I don't have any pictures of you. I'm happy you never said
nice things to me. I just want you to know.
I'm not going to be a fool, I'm going to stop pretending like I should
have so very long ago.
2 comments:
You captured the way many of us have felt over our lives. Longing for that one person that we just can't reach.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
sure, most can relate to the pain... but sympathy and recognition are not useful. those things are more of a fleeting pick-me-up. It is as though people are commenting on your lovely painting... commenting on the show you are putting on... as though your life is just some work of art.
the only real solution is proactivity... it requires a period of soul-search and possibly some tough self-love. of course i may be wrong.
and
perhaps i should mention it took me about a year to get over my last relationship. i finally realized that i was just a pussy. so... it might be time to stop pretending at some point... but that is exponentially easier said than done.
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