Perception.

I am going to buy an over sized canvas today, some black and white oil
paint, and a half dozen brushes. Maybe some blue paint too. I have
this idea brewing in my head, this sort of image that really can't be
expressed in any other physical way. I've never painted in oils
before, just watercolors. I'm not even sure if I know how to paint.
But that doesn't really matter because I don't think that's the point.
I have this monster that needs to escape.

Someone said to me today that they weren't sure if I were really smart
and knew a lot about everything or if I was just insanely good at
lying. Either way, you need encyclopedic knowledge to be convincing or
you need to be talking to someone completely ignorant. Most of the
time I say things, recite facts, draw conclusions and I haven't any
idea where that information came from or how I came to retain it. It's
just there. Most of the time I don't mean to brandish this kind of
intelligence in any kind of threatening manner, but I imagine it can
be perceive in that way. I don't consciously mean to say things like
that to intimidate or to prove something. Or maybe I do. Maybe it's an
effort to conceal insecurity. Maybe I'm not smart at all, perhaps I've
merely become an expert at imitating intelligent behavior.