I am sick with what I am calling The Plague, because really, it seems that bad and I like to exaggerate and complain as much as people will allow me to. No seriously, think of every horrible symptom you could have and I am likely experiencing them all. I didn't know it was possible to be nauseous, have a runny nose, a sore throat, a wicked cough, and a headache all at the same time. Even of greater concern, where in the hell did this come from? I was fine yesterday, I swear. But I woke up this morning and was certain I was dead or very close to something like death. It also seems that everyone around me is dying. My friends, my roommates, my family, my co-workers, boys I kiss. Yes, everyone. Is it allergies? The avian flu? I don't know, but I have never felt like this before. Okay so I probably have but why would I want to commit to memory feelings of misery? I clearly wouldn't, therefore I am more ill than I have been in my life.
I am most concerned about this hot date I have tomorrow evening. It's just that coughing and sneezing don't scream "do me now baby" and really, that is my main objective, you know to say that and see my wish be fulfilled sometime before midnight. I'm just unsure of how to accomplish that between blowing my nose and sucking on cough drops. I am however an excellent multi-tasker so I'm sure I will figure something out. You might be saying to yourself, take some medicine dumbass and the thing is that I totally would if I could actually afford some Sudafed or something else with pseudophedrine in it. But I can't because I am owed a large sum of money and until that has been paid back and/or business on the corner picks up I am to suffer, without the luxury of medication.
Of even greater inconvenience is that final exams are most definitely next week and the last thing I feel like doing is involving myself with an analysis of some Supreme Court case I will never care about again after 12:30pm next Thursday. A cost benefit analysis would suggest my time would be better spent doing something else, like watching re-runs of "My Super Sweet 16" on MTV being halfway sad that I didn't get a Lexus for my 16th Birthday but mostly cynical in my assumption that the girl will be a coke addict by age 18 and will probably trade her car for some more blow. Now that is what I call super sweet.
My mom tells me to drink lots of water and to get some sleep. That advice is good because it costs me nothing to do either of those things. So that is what I am going to do, go to sleep until I absolutely have to go to work tomorrow which I surmise to be somewhere around noon so that I can wander in once everyone has disappeared to lunch and pretend that I have been diligently working since 8:00am.
2 comments:
If you transform into a bird in a Kafka-esque fashion, then you know it was the bird flu.
That sucks that you're sick! Sleep sleep sleep! and feel better!
You know, I wonder if wearing more of that Toronto lingerie would help you beat your illness. You never know, could be worth a shot.
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