Reality Check.

Tonight I will celebrate all the good things about college and spring
time with all of my ex-sorority sisters. Sometimes I forget I am in
college because I spend so much time working at my secret job that I
could never ever tell you about because I would be fired and
blacklisted and destroyed times infinity. But tonight I will remember
that I am twenty-one years old and have the rest of my life to the
climb the corporate ladder.

My little head is spinning because I am so not on earth right now and
haven't been for at least a few weeks. I've been living in the
hypothetical where dreams, reality, and thoughts all become the same
exact thing. I am paranoid and living a triple life.

Last night I saw the boy and I'm not sure where he found the key to my
mind but he did and he said and did everything right when I expected
him to do it all wrong and make this so much easier. He made me dinner
and we watched one of my most favorite movies, Eternal Sunshine of the
Spotless Mind, and he laughed at my jokes, and told me it was okay
that I may or may not have voted for GWB when all of his friends
started yelling at me for being an ignorant fool. He held my hand and
did me right.

This morning he turned off the alarm clock on purpose and I made
certain he was late for work because I am a fan of irresponsibility.
He told me it was okay because there were worse people to have to lay
next to and I guess that is as close to a compliment as I will ever
get. That's fine, when boys are disdainful it turns me on. I don't
need to be worshipped, I am already conceited enough.

I have a million and one phone calls to return since everyone is
climbing out of hibernation now and I am so overwhelmed with this
onslaught of communication I just want to delete delete delete all of
my voice mails and forget that any of those people exist.

My family is going to Las Vegas for a week so I get to take over the
house and steal my dad's brand new shiny fast car and drive around the
suburbs acting all pretentious and better than everyone. Not that I
don't do that all of the time.