I don't feel like coming up with a title thank you very much

I am going to watch the Timberwolves pretend to play basketball
tonight. Or is it that I am going to pretend to watch them play
basketball? Don't get me wrong, basketball is my most favorite
professional sport to watch aside from baseball, but there is no more
Wally to make eye contact with. The only mildly entertaining thing to
do aside from watching Kevin Garnett pout will be figuring exactly
what ethnic group his wife belonged to before undergoing extensive
plastic surgery. Hopefully my dad will also buy me plenty of beer,
three hot dogs, and also a soft pretzel because I am in the mood to
ruin my diet, which has been mildly sucessful despite a trip to
Chipotle last night. Mmmm tacos, except now that I remember it after
ingesting four chicken tacos in the span of maybe eleven minutes I
felt like the lining of my stomach was being ripped apart by a little
alien fetus who got lost on his way to the uterus.

Also, I ran into the convict ex-boyfriend and this is just my luck
since I had to go to the Chipotle mere blocks from his house and not
one of the ninety-two other locations located within a five mile
radius. "Ran into" would be an exageration because I actually spotted
him first and dove behind the beverage dispenser before he saw me. He
looked hott of course and his cell phone was definitlety attached the
side of his face in usual style. But this merely adds a reason to my
I-need-to-get-out-of-this-frigid-state-very-soon list. Chance
encounters with former boyfriends occur much too often and I'm not
sure if this is because of the sheer volume of ex-boyfriends I can
claim or because we all happen to live in a particulary small part of
this little utopia.

I went shoe shopping with one of my roommates yesterday, and no I
didn't buy anything. She needed shoes to match a dress for a sorority
function. She has to be the pickiest person on this very earth and I
guess if I only made shopping expenditures on a quarterly basis then
I'd be selective too but since that is not the case I buy things with
abandon and with faith that they will match something in my closet and
if not we can always buy more! Just kidding, I need to kick my
shopping habit and will be looking into appropriate 12-step programs.

So today I made the mistake of wearing this poofy sort of skirt to
class, forgetting that when you forge the Mississippi River from east
bank of campus to west bank of campus things tend to get a little bit
windy. The skirt kind of takes on a parachute/Marilyn Monroe standing
over vent personality and I am certain that somewhere near 500
students got to see my really cute underwear even if they didn't want
to. I wonder if I could have been ticketed for indecent
exposure...probably.

Is it really only Wednesday? That sucks. I need an eye patch for this
Friday. I am attending a pirate themed party and an eye patch is
mandatory. I am having some difficulty at coming up with a slutty
pirate look. What I have got now is more like a school girl uniform
which just so happens to have a puffy-sleeved blouse. Maybe the eye
patch will bring it together.