Pain.

My wisdom teeth have chosen a rather inconvenient time to pierce their
jagged surfaces through my gums. For the past three years I have
silently laughed at my friends through their own episodes with the
dentist, I have watched them drool and swell and whimper. I had
confidence in my dentist when he told me I shouldn't worry about them
until I turned 25 or so. In the x-rays they looked impossibly far from
the surface and yet, here they are.

I have these very unfortunate permanent retainers (how freaking sexy,
I know) installed in my mouth and the pressure being exerted by these
willfully wise teeth are bending and moving these metal structures
much to the behest of my other teeth and the pink gums which anchor
them. Eating seems impossible, extreme temperatured beverages cause
insurmountable thoughts of torture. I am certain that one of my molars
is being sacrificed to the swelling flesh.

This is not ideal. Perhaps by enduring this sort of partial extraction
without any professional assistance I might avoid the administration
of pain killing prescriptions. I will, at all costs, avoid sedation. I
do not deal well with Vicodin or Codeine or any sort of mind numbing
chemical. Maybe the procedure will be as simple as tying the tooth to
a door and slamming it shut. I could only dream.