I used to have faith in humanity, but you're collective failures are starting to change my mind. I'm convinced all the world's minor evils have united in a force which plans to destroy me. Apparently you have realized my secret potential to one day conquer the world. Since you now know this you are throwing surprise midterms at me, putting mean people in my way, and otherwise demolishing any splinter of sanity I have saved up.
No, my name isn't Dr. Phil...I can't solve your relationship problems and don't really want to invest time into doing so. I'm not sure what you've heard but I don't like to share, so stop asking me for various items of clothing and not returning them. I'll only say this once, so write it down or something...I don't know everything so don't get disappointed when I can't tell you the atomic weight of Niobium. Get a periodic table and look it up. Oh and don't be a seventh grader and go around telling everyone we "hooked up", unless by "hooked up" you mean I walked your ass to the bathroom so you could puke and then made sure you got to your room safely.
Oh yea...Don't eat my food, it makes me crabby.
Be nice to me now or else!
No comments:
Post a Comment