Dear Girls who care too much and have too much time,

Honestly, please just stop. You are cold hearted people, getting all dressed up and cute for Monday morning class. What on Earth were you thinking when you got out of your bed at 6am and showered, applied make up, and curled your hair? On top of that you bothered to put on clothes that are not pajamas. Heck, you even accessorized. You make the rest of us look bad, especially me. I thought we were in this whole womanhood thing together. Life would be much easier if you just stopped trying. I'm certain that the boys wouldn't care. But what do they know about designer labels and the latest hair styles? I'll tell you, NOTHING.

I guess we could compromise and instead of doing that whole "casual Friday" deal, we could pick a day where we all have the option of looking cute. That way we can plan and save all of our fashonista-ism for one spectacular day. Trust me, this would just be great.

Think of the money you would save on clothes, shoes, makeup, and all that other stuff. This might also allow some of you to get that extra sleep, that way you're not all such crabby bitches all the time. I do understand that you're feet hurt, you poked yourself in the eye with mascara, and you burned yourself with a curling iron but you do this all to yourself and if you would just stop it would make the world a much happier place.

Here's the plan, wake up fifteen minutes before class, jump in the shower and wash your hair, or not. Dry yourself off and throw a t-shirt and sweatpants on. Grab some flip flops and devote your remaining energy to your academic achievement. Your cooperation is appreciated.