future?

I'm not really sure if I'm made for marriage. Everytime the subject is brought up I cringe and get a little bit anxious. I'm just so particular about the people I surround myself with that I find it hard to believe that I will share my life with one individual for such a long period of time. Besides, divorce numbers are at an alltime high. I guess marriage made a lot of sense in the old days because women were emotionally, socially, and economically dependent of men. Things are a little bit different now. It is perfectly feasible that a woman is able to wholly support herself. I guess I'd change my mind if a handsome, selfless, culutured, funny in a sarcastic way, amiable, non-psycho, and self made multi-millionaire came my way. He probably won't though so I shouldn't get my hopes up.

I'll settle for a nice dog, a special friend of the male persuassion, a comfy couch, and a good book. Oh and live performances in my living room by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Life would be good then, not that life isn't good now. I am excited to get an apartment/pseudo dorm room of my own. It will have a real life kitchen and a real life non communal bathroom. I get to cook!! I don't get to move in until the summer, so until then it's good old dorm life.

Anyhow, tomorrow morning I get to return to the freedom of college life. Plus, it's my birthday this Friday. YES. Nineteen, I'm getting old. I won't get to spend my birthday with Linds like usual. She'll be in the Carribean, without ME. Turns out I didn't fit in her suitcase. I'll get over it I suppose. P.S. never try to pretend that you went someplace warm and exotic by exposing yourself to articficial tanning processes. I am burnt for the first time in a LONG time.